I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
