Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
