the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
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