please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
So vagazzling was a success
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
