I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
