I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
