Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize