I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
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