whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
