Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
