So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
a search helicopter?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize