The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
