so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
