Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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