32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
