She is in my trunk
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
