This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
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i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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