I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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