Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
