Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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