Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Alive.
So much puke
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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