I could have mohawked her pubes.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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