so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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