He is such a slut. More and more my type.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
