I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
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This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
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My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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