nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
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