Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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