just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
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I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
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anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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