Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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