it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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