so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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