Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
