How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
