17 year olds will be the death of me.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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