More tranny stories later!
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
