around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
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