A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
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My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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