Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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