Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
