dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
