i may or may not be watching the land before time
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
you inspire me to be a worse person
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
