i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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