My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
