Moan for me like Helen Keller
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
