1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
