hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
this boner is exhausting
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize