porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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