You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
