So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
