I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize