She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
