we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
