That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Randomize
