2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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