I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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