After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
