I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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