I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Let's get the cat blown out
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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