Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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