He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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