We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
