hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
