oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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