The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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