oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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