If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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