Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Never underestimate the power of titties
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
