He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
